The Invisible Demon

The start of all this perplexity is unclear, yet here we are, in the deep pits of a quagmire. The undeniable insanity of it all. The back and forth that never seems to end, no matter how much we try to work on it. We gave to each other nothing, and took even more from this empty, unattended well. We drained the soul from this bond, yet the shackle we never wanted to begin with binds us to sorrow. The universe did not ordain this; my heart knew this was not what life wanted for me. She disobeyed the inner spirit that tried to warn her. She destroyed her life in an attempt to appease a people that lived oblivious to the deep self-loathing that devoured her very being. Everyday more defeated, unable to face what she had allowed herself to become.

A short while later, she could not recognise herself. She’s gone. The fire expired and the passion evaporated. Did she ever truly exist? Was it all smoke and mirrors. She once carried hope as firmly as the sky holds up the clouds. Life itself motivated the very essence of her soul. An impudent creature she was, the kaleidoscope of existence was the music her soul danced to. She was that woman, and she now is gone. She blindly obeyed life and it cost her her own. For you see, the life of the world was not the life designated for her. She was rightfully wrong. She was defective. She was deliberately authentic, and there existed no mould that could appreciate her wholly. She was purposefully flawed. Uniquely unqualified to be part of the ordinary. Created so different that to fit in was never an option.

Still she tried. Because she had yet to understand that the isolation was a gift. She could not yet comprehend the impact of her exceptionality. And so she shrunk and relented; giving up her power to one less aware, incorrectly believing that she could trick her inner child into accepting the incompatible. It was a blunder; an ill-motivated choice that immediately brought with it the curse of an empty, joyless life and the harsh lesson of regret. To abandon herself meant she turned her back on her destiny. She knowingly, yet willingly robbed herself of the opportunity to experience living a life of purpose. As the voice of the world grew loud, she grew deaf to the sound of her inner wisdom. The inner voice of purpose whispered still through the insanity…”this is not the colour we are meant to paint our sky.”

Finally, I heard it. Finally, I came to my senses. This is not who I was created to be. So, I am bringing this lamentable chapter to an end. The foolishness and sorrow. The indifference that unhappiness brings. I yearn to be me again, to see me again, to know me again. To embrace the possibilities of a new day with intention and exhilaration. I am who I am because I am not who the world commands me to be. I am my own construction, an anomaly that simply must be. I rebelliously elect to throw shame to the side and grasp a hold of my senses once again. I must, regardless give thanks for this misstep. Had I not gone astray, I would not have rediscovered me, and never in the way that I now appreciate my inner queen. And I alone sit on this throne! Ruling my life, I take back my power, I am letting go of that which was never meant to be. And unashamedly, unapologetically, and audaciously being me!

I am Born Extraordinary



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