This is a difficult one to write. At the turn of the new month, and as I keep with the introspective nature of 2017 in a bid to self-improvement, I have come to the incalculably challenging realization that this is an area in which I have failed in gravely, countless times over the years. Reflection over the past 5 years has resulted in an unplanned, and quite frankly unappreciated confrontation with the family of skeletons that I’ve been sharing mental closet real estate with. They are an unsightly bunch, and rather talkative. Reminiscing about the good old days when we used to “ride together”, as we said “back in the day.” Have you noticed how much easier it is to call up the negative feelings of the less than pleasant experiences we have endured, and rather difficult to just as easily remember the opposite? So yes, I have need to admit that I have been the victim of the woe-is-me syndrome. Trapped in the cycle of calling upon the happy victim within that has right to speak ill of those that perpetuated a hurt on me. And by doing so trapping myself in an endless cycle of defeat.
So, we start at the beginning. The good book warns us that offenses will come. And as true as that could be, it has been for me. What is life without the spice of a few steep downturns on the roller-coaster? What true wisdom is learned outside the classroom of profound and chastening life happenings? However, I cannot make mention of these experiences, when in the aftermath, I have disrespected myself by taking the bad and abandoning all betterment until long after the time had passed. How like a sponge, the heart holds fast to a wrong, should the beholder instruct it to do so. The embarrassment I must face when I admit the pettiness within my heart that oddly gave me the strength to pick up a grudge and carry it effortless every time the transgression crossed my mind. Yes, I failed to forgive. And in failing to forgive I have shackled my life to a disagreeable place in my past and denied myself growth.
I am learning that forgiveness is more for me than it is for the one that slighted me. Of course I acknowledge that forgiveness has its place in mending bridges and rebuilding relationships. Forgiveness is a mighty gift to offer the one that has seen and admitted to the error of their ways and wishes to make amends. Forgiveness offers countless new starts and shows the grace of the Almighty that can be felt in a very real and human way. Forgiveness is chosen. As I have gone deeper in my thinking, I have come to realize that as easily as I chose bitterness, I can too, choose to forgive.
I release them all, every single person, with love. I may not speak to any of the people that have wronged me, and to whom I have done an injustice. The things that I have gone through thus far have been entirely for my growth and were not meant to destroy or derail me from living victorious. I will put myself out there and admit that indeed I could have done a lot better. That is a promise I am making to myself. That each day I will work at forgiveness. I will take it day by day and allow the spirit to work through me and lead me towards the grander days ahead. I write this, in a hope that it will encourage someone to find the ability to search their past and face the things they are afraid to be real about. Do not do it with self-loathing and self-criticism. You are not any less than remarkable simply because you got it wrong somewhere along the way. Let forgiveness into your heart and allow the guiding lessons of life to redirect you to the best version of yourself yet. And no, I am not saying that it will be an easy thing to do, but nothing worth doing is. But I now, as in myself and in every other person alive, that there is good in us all and we owe it to ourselves to reach within our secret place and pull that person out.
You Are Born Extraordinary!